Beautiful Virgin Islands

Monday, May 29, 2023

The passive-aggressive colleagues who poison workplaces

The passive-aggressive colleagues who poison workplaces

Whether on email or face to face, subtle digs are all over the workplace. This insidious behaviour spares no-one – and it can grind down workers.

Subtle digs veiled as compliments. Deliberately withholding information. Refusing to cooperate with the rest of the team. The list of small passive-aggressive behaviours Catherine says she faced from a senior colleague in her role as an office administrator for a large US publishing house built up slowly over several years.

“I felt like I was being subtly manipulated and controlled,” says Catherine, who now works an author and life coach. “It was very frustrating, and made me feel powerless.”

She says her colleague’s remarks would also impact the rest of the office, creating an atmosphere of hostility and resentment. It was only when she began noting down the behaviours in a personal journal that Catherine, a mother of three, could see just how toxic it was. It “helped me to see that my colleague's behaviour was actually not normal – and it helped me to reflect on what was happening – and to start to take back control of the situation.”

Troublingly, many workers report passive-aggressive behaviour like this is endemic in the workplace. A small May 2022 survey by Boston-based language-tutoring service Preply showed 20% of the 1,200 American respondents said their colleagues are the people in their lives most likely to exhibit passive-aggressive behaviour – more than either friends or family. Seventy-three percent said they had to handle passive-aggressive comments of one form or another at work – 52% on a weekly basis.

Though it can be subtler and harder to detect than overt aggression or abuse, passive-aggressive behaviour in the workplace can be just as harmful, both to those on the receiving end and broader company culture. No workplace is safe from these insidious behaviours – but workers can take steps to fend off their impacts.

‘Playing dumb, stalling or misrepresentation’


There’s a wide spectrum of passive-aggressive behaviours, explains Wladislaw Rivkin, an associate professor in organisational behaviour at Trinity Business School, Dublin. They could include a colleague playing dumb, stalling an important task deliberately or misrepresenting the true version of events to make their co-worker appear at fault. They might also seek to undermine others’ expertise or confidence with sly digs. That’s why phrases like, ‘you’re too sensitive’, and ‘no offence, but…’ were among those ranked the most passive-aggressive by US workers in the same Preply poll.

Examples of passive aggression include playing dumb, stalling a critical task deliberately or misrepresenting events to make a co-worker appear at fault


What unites all these different examples, though, is that these behaviours allow a colleague to demonstrate hostility toward another without having to resort to the type of open aggression that would immediately land them in hot water, explains Rivkin.

It's for that reason it’s so common in the workplace, he explains, where people are expected to behave professionally and courteously, or risk losing their jobs. “Such behaviours reflect a way to display opposition, discontent and aggression without defying social norms. Such behaviours leave the aggressor in relative safety as compared to acts of active aggression, as they can more easily deny that the aggression happened.”

There isn’t one definitive type of person or role more likely to act passive aggressively. But there are certain personality traits that make a person more likely to resort to this sort of behaviour, he adds. One example is Machiavellianism, in which someone regularly uses cunning and manipulation to get ahead. There are also those who simply struggle to communicate their emotions in a healthier way, and default to passive aggression for lack of a better alternative.

The way in which a workplace environment is run can also affect how likely workers are to resort to passive-aggressive behaviours, adds Sankalp Chaturvedi, professor of organisational behaviour and leadership at Imperial College Business School, London. For example, if employees feel their needs are being regularly ignored by management teams, it can breed the sort of frustration that drives them to find ways to subtly act out. The same goes for workplaces that pile on a lot of pressure, or those who leave workers feeling confused about their role or the overall power dynamics.

Happy hours, team meetings, lunch table… you name it, I have lost count on how many times he'd provoke people at meetings or even emails and group chats – Maria


Whatever the reason, though, the impact of this behaviour on both individuals at the receiving end and workplace culture as a whole can be significant.

Maria, who previously worked in customer services, says constant abuse from her passive-aggressive boss caused her to quit the Portuguese company to take care of her mental health. “I left utterly demoralised, feeling insecure about myself on many levels,” she says. She felt nothing was off limits for his spiteful comments disguised as jokes, with both Maria and her team members subject to taunts about their appearance, sexuality and personal lives. “Happy hours, team meetings, lunch table… you name it, I have lost count on how many times he'd provoke people at meetings or even emails and group chats,” she says.

Research shows employees who have to handle passive-aggressive behaviour regularly suffer from burnout, stress and poorer levels of wellbeing, motivation and job satisfaction, says Chaturvedi. “These behaviours often involve negative emotions, which may spill over from one employee to another, and create a negative environment for all. At a company level, these passive-aggressive behaviours have negative effects on the company productivity, co-workers' behaviour and in cumulatively workplace culture.”

Evidence-first


Damaging as it can be for both staff and companies, passive-aggressive behaviour can also be incredibly tricky to manage. Sly comments can be easy to deny or simply passed off as a misunderstood joke, for example.

“Passive-aggressive behaviour can be difficult for organisations to address, because it’s often very subtle and indirect in nature,” says Amanda Augustine, a New York-based careers expert at resume-writing service TopCV. “It’s fairly easy for someone exhibiting passive-aggressive behaviour to deny any bad intentions behind their actions or try to manipulate the situation by claiming to be the ‘victim’ rather than the aggressor.”

Passive aggression will always be in the workplace – but experts say there are ways to temper the effects of these toxic colleagues.

Often, passive-aggressive colleagues are seeking to quietly antagonise their colleagues to get a reaction, says Augustine. To respond, the “best course of action is to control your emotions and force yourself to remain calm, regardless of what your colleague says or does. While this is easier said than done, denying your colleague the reaction they crave will help you put an end to their passive aggression”.

The subtle nature of passive aggression can make the behaviour difficult to deal handle, which means it can remained unchecked


If that doesn’t work, it might be necessary to alert someone in the company to their behaviour. Workers always have the option to directly discuss the behaviour with the person themselves but, given that passive-aggressive colleagues are often masterminds at subtle manipulation in the workplace, that might not feel like the right route. Instead, it can be helpful to arrange a shared meeting with a manager to address the issue – something some workers may feel safer doing. “In such situations, it is important to have clear evidence of the behaviour that occurred,” suggests Rivkin, to avoid outright denials. He adds it can be helpful to outline in writing specific examples of passive-aggressive behaviour in advance, and detail their impact on both yourself and your team members.

It's also incumbent on companies to get out ahead of the passive aggression that poisons workplaces, before colleagues find themselves in uncomfortable – even toxic – situations. Chaturvedi says employers need to equip team leaders with the skills they need to detect and deal with passive-aggressive behaviour. “These leaders need to be trained to notice subtle emotional cues and observe patterns in these behaviours.” He adds that in many cases, companies fail to provide this sort of in-depth management training, which creates the risk they won’t be able to spot or handle reported cases.

Too often, that leaves the task of handling a passive-aggressive colleague to the employee, forcing them to choose between braving a potentially awkward confrontation or a toxic office environment.

For Catherine, transforming her own behaviour – changing her communication to be more assertive and direct – helped mitigate her colleague’s damage. For Maria, however, the solution wasn’t quite as tidy; not only did she end up leaving her company, but she also reports lingering effects from the toxic environment. Now having taken some time away from work to work on her mental health after the experience, Maria says she’s tentatively looking for another job. “It has been hard to step into the market again, but I have to stay positive.”

Newsletter

Related Articles

Beautiful Virgin Islands
Close
0:00
0:00
If you donated to BLM, you got played
I have a dream, MLK inspiring speech
Pfizer, the EU, and disappearing ink - Smoke, Mirrors, and the Billion-Dose Pfizer Vaccine Deal: EU's 'Open Secret
Aretha Franklin, Marvis Staples - Oh Happy Day
Actor Tom Hanks told Harvard University graduates to be superheroes in their defense of truth and American ideals, and to resist those who twist the truth for their own gain
BVI Freedom Song
The Sussexes' Royal Rebound: Could Harry and Meghan Markle Return to the UK?
Billy Preston - You Can't Beat God Giving (Live)
A provocative study suggests: Left-Wing Extremism and its Unsettling Connection to Psychopathy and Narcissism
VIRGIN ISLANDS REGGAE CARIBBEAN RIDDIMZ
France Arrests 10 on Suspicion of Failing to Respond in Time to Migrant Drowning
Oh Happy Day Edwin Hawkins - Anthony Brown w FBCG Combined Choir
Neuralink Receives FDA Approval for First-in-Human Clinical Study
'Stand by Me' performed by Karen Gibson and The Kingdom Choir
Is Saudi Arabia the holiest place in the world? Ancient Hebrew Inscriptions from "The Mount Sinai Stand" Discovered in Saudi Arabia
National Anthem of the British Virgin Islands - Oh, Beautiful Virgin
Ukrainian Intelligence Official Admits to Assassination Attempts on Putin
Hello Dolly
WATCH THIS: democracy in Russia is so bad!
for KING & COUNTRY - Amen (Reborn) [feat. Lecrae & The WRLDFMS Tony Wi
Ed Davey: It is possible for a woman to have a penis
Bob Marley - Get Up Stand Up
Bernard Arnault Loses $11.2 Billion in One Day as Investors Fear Slowdown in US Growth Will Reduce Demand for Luxury Products
Yes He Can
Russian’s Wagner Group leader: “I am not a chef, I am a butcher. Russia is in danger of a revolution like in 1917.”
What A Friend We Have In Jesus
TikTok Sues Montana Over Law Banning the App
Unforgettable
Ron DeSantis Jumps Into 2024 Presidential Race, Setting Up Showdown With Trump
Touch The Hem Of His Garment
Steve Jobs introducing Apple's iPhone, exactly 16 years ago.
The Lord's Prayer
Banking Behemoth vs Ex-Boss: The PMorgan-Epstein Entanglement
THE GOD MOVEMENT...BEAUTIFUL BVI
China overtakes Japan as world's top car exporter
Siyahamba
Last Walmart in North Portland Closing Down
Ray Charles And The Voices Of Jubilaton, Oh, Happy Day
Banking Behemoth vs Ex-Boss: The PMorgan-Epstein Entanglement
Ramblin' Rose
Florida's DeSantis seeks to disqualify judge in Disney case
Protoje - Who Knows ft. Chronixx
Talks between US House Republicans and President Biden's Democratic administration on raising the federal government's $31.4tn debt ceiling have paused
Pressure - Virgin Islands Nice
Biden Administration Eyeing High-Profile Visits to China: The Biden Administration is heating things up by looking into setting up a series of top-level visits to Beijing by top officials in the coming months
Phil Wickham - House Of The Lord
New evidence in special counsel probe may undercut Trump’s claim documents he took were automatically declassified
My God Is Real (Yes, God Is Real)
A French court of appeals confirmed former President Nicolas Sarkozy's three-year jail term for corruption and influence peddling
The Lion King Circle of Life by LEBO M. — LIVE at the HAVASI Symphonic
Debt Ceiling Crises Have Unleashed Political Chaos
Louis Armstrong - When The Saints Go Marching In
Weibao Wang, a former software engineer at Apple, was charged with stealing trade secrets related to autonomous systems, including self-driving cars
Kanye West Sunday Service - hallelujah, salvation, and glory
Mobile phone giant Vodafone to cut 11,000 jobs globally over three years as new boss says its performance not good enough
Jonathan Nelson - I Believe (Island Medley
Elon Musk compares George Soros to Magneto, the supervillain from the Marvel Comics series.
From The Virgin Islands Sqad Up
Warren Buffett Sells TSMC Shares Over Concerns About Taiwan's Stability
Common, John Legend - Glory
New Study Finds That Secondary Bacterial Pneumonia Is a Major Cause of Death in COVID-19 Patients Who Require Ventilator Assistance
Anthony Evans vs. Jesse Campbell - If I Ain't Got You
The Prime Minister of St. Vincent and the Grenadines calls the British monarchy "an absurdity" he wants to remove in his lifetime
I have a dream, MLK inspiring speech
Remarkable video from our Fox drone team
Aretha Franklin, Marvis Staples - Oh Happy Day
The official tapes of Trump's deposition in the E. Jean Carroll battery (rape) and defamation case have been released.
BVI Freedom Song
Here is the full video that the media are purposely not sharing
Billy Preston - You Can't Beat God Giving (Live)
King Charles III being crowned.
VIRGIN ISLANDS REGGAE CARIBBEAN RIDDIMZ
New York procedures cover up cold blooded first degree murder of black man by white man
Oh Happy Day Edwin Hawkins - Anthony Brown w FBCG Combined Choir
Video: Ukraine MP Punches Russian Representative At Global Meet
'Stand by Me' performed by Karen Gibson and The Kingdom Choir
El Paso mayor has declared a state of emergency
National Anthem of the British Virgin Islands - Oh, Beautiful Virgin
Russia accused Ukraine of attacking the Kremlin with drones in an attempt to kill Putin
Hello Dolly
Ahead of King Charles’ coronation, British guards rehearse in the middle of the night in London
for KING & COUNTRY - Amen (Reborn) [feat. Lecrae & The WRLDFMS Tony Wi
Dutch court orders man who fathered 550 kids to stop donating sperm
Bob Marley - Get Up Stand Up
Kim Kardashian Lookalike Christina Ashten Dies Of Cardiac Arrest, Hours After Plastic Surgery
Yes He Can
Samsung has banned employees from using generative AI services such as ChatGPT
What A Friend We Have In Jesus
'Godfather Of AI' Geoffrey Hinton Quits Google To Warn Of The Tech's Dangers
Unforgettable
A Real woman
Touch The Hem Of His Garment
×