Beautiful Virgin Islands

Thursday, Sep 18, 2025

It’s not just Harry and William: the top 10 warring brothers

It’s not just Harry and William: the top 10 warring brothers

From the Milibands to the Gallaghers, testosterone-fuelled rivalry is a tale as old as time

Stories of sibling rivalry have been around since Greek and Roman mythology, continuing through the Bible and Shakespeare. None of them, however, traded blows via Oprah interviews, Netflix deals and 400-page tell-all memoirs.

Tensions between “Willy” and “Harold” began when the younger brother married Meghan Markle and “stepped back” from royal duties. When the couple moved to California, they soon sat down for a bombshell chat with Oprah Winfrey which infuriated “The Firm” back home. This has now been followed by a six-hour docuseries and Harry’s explosive autobiography. For a couple so obsessed with privacy, they sure do share.

The stream of juicy revelations from Spare (published on January 10) — of cherry-popping, drug-taking, stepmother-disapproving, Taliban-killing, genital frostbite and princely fisticuffs — have widened the rift to historic proportions. The House of Cambridge vs The House of Sussex is now a clash worthy of a George R.R. Martin fantasy epic.

For context (OK, and our own amusement), we’ve compared the warring Windsors to recent history’s other famous feuding brothers, both real and fictional — while working out which one is the Harry and which is the William in each fraught relationship. Let the brotherly battles begin…

Grant vs Phil Mitchell


Grant vs Phil Mitchell

EastEnders’ thuggish, bullet-headed “bruvvers” ruled Walford with an iron first throughout the 90s. Sensible Phil and loose cannon “Grunt” eventually came to blows over women — brassy blondes Sharon and Kathy, as opposed to bouncy brunettes Kate and Meghan — while a long-reigning Queen (their pub’s bust of Victoria) looked unamused.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? Phil is William (Philliam?), left grunting and growling in London while his ex-army little bruv flees abroad. Although Grant is running an ex-pat pub in Portugal, rather than aligning his chakras in a Montecito mansion. Male pattern baldness is an issue for them all. Faaamily innit?

Liam vs Noel Gallagher


Liam vs Noel Gallagher


Britpop royalty Oasis disbanded in 2009 after a final fist fight between the luxuriantly browed brothers. They’ve been waging a bitter war of words ever since, with “our kid” calling Noel a “sad little dwarf” and “an angry potato”. Noel famously described Liam as “like a man with a fork in a world of soup” and once walloped him over the head with a cricket bat. How terribly posh.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? Noel is the steadier senior sibling, Liam the mad-for-it motormouth partial to cigarettes, alcohol and starting fights in empty rooms. Don’t look back in anger, lads.

Sherlock vs Mycroft Holmes


The consulting detective and his equally mega-brained elder brother have had a simmering rivalry since childhood. Sherlock teases government bigwig Mycroft for putting on weight, while Mycroft worries about “brother mine” taking drugs. Ahem.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? As a pillar of the British establishment, Mycroft is William. High-functioning sleuth Sherlock is Harry, a maverick outsider who’s been known to kill baddies (albeit fewer than 25). With sharper cheekbones and a flapping Belstaff coat, he could become “Stately Holmes”, with Meghan as sidekick “Dr Wellness”.

Kendall vs Roman Roy


Kendall vs Roman Roy


In HBO’s dynastic drama Succession, the sons of multi-billionaire mogul Logan Roy bicker, backstab and drop F-bombs in their bid to inherit his Waystar Royco media conglomerate. Roman’s nickname of “Romulus” even nods to the founder of Rome who killed his twin Remus.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? Kendall is Wills, the heir apparent desperate for daddy’s approval. Roman is the immature brat who can’t stop shooting his mouth off. His fixation with colleague Gerri also echoes Harry losing his virginity to an older woman - although their flirtation plays out in boardrooms and hotel suites, rather than a field behind a pub.

JR vs Bobby Ewing


JR vs Bobby Ewing


They might not be properly blue-blooded but the Dallas siblings were oil barons, at least. They were forever battling for parental favouritism and control of family firm Ewing Oil, while their glossy-haired wives competitively power-dressed and exchanged dirty looks across Kensington Palace. Sorry, Southfork Ranch.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? William is JR, the ruthless charmer who inherits the company. Harry is the altruistic moderniser. Like Bobby, he’s probably hoping to wake up and realise it was all a bad dream.

Mufasa vs Scar


Hamlet-inspired Disney classic The Lion King depicts the murderous rivalry between noble Mufasa and his power-hungry younger brother. Sly, bitter Scar plots to kill first Mufasa, then cub prince Simba, so he can seize the Pride Lands throne for himself. Luckily he’s defeated and torn to pieces by hyenas. Well, it’s the Circle Of Life. Or something.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? Both princes have thinning manes but William is king of the jungle, while Harry lazes and schemes in the sun. Perhaps the princes should sing “Hakuna Matata”, man-hug and make up.

The Hound vs The Mountain


The two most feared warriors in Westeros were Sandor “The Hound” Clegane and his elder brother Gregor, aka “The Mountain”. The hirsute hulks hated one another since boyhood, when sadistic Gregor shoved Sandor’s face into a fire during a squabble over toys. Game Of Thrones fans demanded a duel, dubbed “Cleganebowl” by meme-makers. In the much-maligned final season, they got their wish. Result? Both died but The Hound did so heroically.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? Hard to say but forget broken necklaces and dog bowls. We’re talking gouged eyes and crushed skulls. In those skirts and with winter coming, don’t rule out a frostbitten penis either.

Ed vs David Milliband


Ed vs David Miliband


Who needs Buckingham Palace when we’ve got the Palace of Westminster? Elder sibling David, widely seen as the more gifted politician, was hot favourite to win the 2010 Labour leadership race - until brother Ed decided to run against him. Union backing propelled the bacon sarnie-scoffer to a shock narrow win.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? David might be the elder brother but he’s Harry, having resigned as an MP and moved to the US in a huff.

Thor vs Loki


Thor vs Loki


Avengers and princely parallels assemble. One of the standout relationships in the seemingly endless Marvel universe is the enmity between Thor, the God of Thunder and King of Asgard, and his trickster little brother. Loki actor Tom Hiddleston has described it as “like King Lear but nastier”.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? As heir to Odin’s throne, golden boy Thor is basically William with bigger biceps, more hair and a hammer. Meanwhile, “God of mischief” Loki is a jealous narcissist with his own streaming TV show. Remind you of anyone?

Michael vs Fredo Corleone


Michael vs Fredo Corleone


Not to be confused with the Cadbury’s chocolate frog (he has two Ds), Fredo was the weak, womanising middle brother in The Godfather’s crime family. When young buck Michael was made Don, resentful Fredo betrayed him to gangland rivals. Realising Fredo was the traitor (“I know it was you. You broke my heart”), Michael delivered the kiss of death - although he tactfully waited until their mother was dead to order his brother’s execution.

Which is Wills and which is Harry? Well, only one of them “went against the family”. Perhaps Harry should check for horse’s heads at bedtime.

Newsletter

Related Articles

Beautiful Virgin Islands
0:00
0:00
Close
US Tech Giants Pledge Billions to UK AI Infrastructure Following Starmer's Call
Saudi Arabia cracks down on music ‘lounges’ after conservative backlash
DeepMind and OpenAI Achieve Gold at ‘Coding Olympics’ in AI Milestone
SEC Allows Public Companies to Block Investors from Class-Action Lawsuits
Saudi Arabia Signs ‘Strategic Mutual Defence’ Pact with Pakistan, Marking First Arab State to Gain Indirect Access to Nuclear Strike Capabilities in the Region
Federal Reserve Cuts Rates by Quarter Point and Signals More to Come
Effective and Impressive Generation Z Protest: Images from the Riots in Nepal
European manufacturers against ban on polluting cars: "The industry may collapse"
Sam Altman sells the 'Wedding Estate' in Hawaii for 49 million dollars
Trump: Cancel quarterly company reports and settle for reporting once every six months
Turkish car manufacturer Togg Enters German Market with 5-Star Electric Sedan and SUV to Challenge European EV Brands
US Launches New Pilot Program to Accelerate eVTOL Air Taxi Deployment
Christian Brueckner Released from German Prison after Serving Unrelated Sentence
World’s Longest Direct Flight China Eastern to Launch 29-Hour Shanghai–Buenos Aires Direct Flight via Auckland in December
New OpenAI Study Finds Majority of ChatGPT Use Is Personal, Not Professional
Hong Kong Industry Group Calls for HK$20 Billion Support Fund to Ease Property Market Stress
Joe Biden’s Post-Presidency Speaking Fees Face Weak Demand amid Corporate Reluctance
Charlie Kirk's murder will break the left's hateful cancel tactics
Kash Patel erupts at ‘buffoon’ Sen. Adam Schiff over Russiagate: ‘You are the biggest fraud’
Homeland Security says Emmy speech ‘fanning the flames of hatred’ after Einbinder’s ‘F— ICE’ remark
Charlie Kirk’s Alleged Assassin Tyler Robinson Faces Death Penalty as Charges Formally Announced
Actor, director, environmentalist Robert Redford dies at 89
The conservative right spreads westward: a huge achievement for 'Alternative for Germany' in local elections
JD Vance Says There Is “No Unity” with Those Who Celebrate Charlie Kirk’s Killing, and he is right!
Trump sues the 'New York Times' for an astronomical sum of 15 billion dollars
Florida Hospital Welcomes Its Largest-Ever Baby: Annan, Nearly Fourteen Pounds at Birth
U.S. and Britain Poised to Finalize Over $10 Billion in High-Tech, Nuclear and Defense Deals During Trump State Visit
China Finds Nvidia Violated Antitrust Laws in Mellanox Deal, Deepens Trade Tensions with US
US Air Force Begins Modifications on Qatar-Donated Jet Amid Plans to Use It as Air Force One
Pope Leo Warns of Societal Crisis Over Mega-CEO Pay, Citing Tesla’s Proposed Trillion-Dollar Package
Poland Green-Lights NATO Deployment in Response to Major Russian Drone Incursion
Elon Musk Retakes Lead as World’s Richest After Brief Ellison Surge
U.S. and China Agree on Framework to Shift TikTok to American Ownership
London Daily Podcast: London Massive Pro Democracy Rally, Musk Support, UK Economic Data and Premier League Results Mark Eventful Weekend
This Week in AI: Meta’s Superintelligence Push, xAI’s Ten Billion-Dollar Raise, Genesis AI’s Robotics Ambitions, Microsoft Restructuring, Amazon’s Million-Robot Milestone, and Google’s AlphaGenome Update
Le Pen Tightens the Pressure on Macron as France Edges Toward Political Breakdown
Musk calls for new UK government at huge pro-democracy rally in London, but Britons have been brainwashed to obey instead of fighting for their human rights
Elon Musk responds to post calling for the murder of Erika Kirk, widow of Charlie Kirk: 'Either we fight back or they will kill us'
Czech Republic signs €1.34 billion contract for Leopard 2A8 main battle tanks with delivery from 2028
USA: Office Depot Employees Refused to Print Poster in Memory of Charlie Kirk – and Were Fired
Proposed U.S. Bill Would Allow Civil Suits Against Judges Who Release Repeat Violent Offenders
Penske Media Sues Google Over “AI Overviews,” Claiming It Uses Journalism Without Consent and Destroys Traffic
Indian Student Engineers Propose “Project REBIRTH” to Protect Aircraft from Crashes Using AI, Airbags and Smart Materials
French Debt Downgrade Piles Pressure on Macron’s New Prime Minister
US and UK Near Tech, Nuclear and Whisky Deals Ahead of Trump Trip
One in Three Europeans Now Uses TikTok, According to the Chinese Tech Giant
Could AI Nursing Robots Help Healthcare Staffing Shortages?
NATO Deploys ‘Eastern Sentry’ After Russian Drones Violate Polish Airspace
Anesthesiologist Left Operation Mid-Surgery to Have Sex with Nurse
Tens of Thousands of Young Chinese Get Up Every Morning and Go to Work Where They Do Nothing
×