“If you’re reading this, I’m gone,” Yocheved Gourarie wrote in the post, which she had scheduled to run one day after her tragic leap.
“I hope you can find some comfort in knowing I am no longer in pain.”
On Tuesday, Gourarie, of Crown Heights, rode the subway into Manhattan and bought a ticket to the Vessel, a popular tourist attraction.
She did not bring a suicide note, but had taken with her “information making it easy to ascertain who to contact,” a law enforcement source told The Post.
Reaching the highest level of the structure, Gourarie — who had chronicled online her struggles with anorexia and depression — climbed onto the railing and jumped, police said.
EMS, responding to a 911 call, pronounced Gourarie dead at the scene.
She had scheduled her final Instagram message to post the next day — a modern-day suicide note full of gratitude, desperation and wry humor.
“Hey…. I guess if you don’t know by now you should probably sit down,” she wrote.
“If you’re reading this, I’m gone. Either that or somehow incapacitated in the hospital so I can’t delete this scheduled post. I really hope I’m not though.
“I don’t care to go into the reasons why I’m gone, but there are certainly more than thirteen. I scheduled a note to send to my parents posthumously….Even just publishing this may pain them.
“I don’t want to do that, I just want to leave my last mark on this world.”
She concluded, “All of you have made my life so much more full, brighter, and happier than it would have been without you. Your support, your encouragement, your hugs, your invitations, your smiles, your texts, your tagging me in memes you think I’d find funny.
“None of you could have done anything – or done more – to prevent this from happening. You all did your absolute best and for that I am eternally grateful. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing I am no longer in pain.
“I love you.”
Religious singing could be heard Saturday from inside Gourarie’s Crown Heights home, where loved ones gathered for an ongoing Shiva service. Family members declined to speak to reporters.
According to her LinkedIn page, Gourarie earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and neuroscience at CUNY’s Macaulay Honors College.
The week before her death, she posted a heartbreaking, clearly treasured clip of herself singing “Moon River” as her composer and musician father, Avremi, played an electric piano.
Earlier Instagram posts reveal she had openly shared her struggle with mental illness, and expressed gratitude for the support she had received.
“I spent years hiding my truth from the world, save for a select few family members and friends, and still more years in complete silence, certain that I was doomed to live out my days trapped in hell,” she wrote in January.
“Sharing my truth meant others could help carry it with me, so it was that much lighter,” she wrote then.
In August, 2019, she wrote on Instagram, “I often give off the impression that I am recovered and am offering advice from a place of complete healing.
“I’m not. Anorexia continues to plague me, though its grip is far looser than it used to be and I have much more insight into my disordered thought patterns and actions.
“I am also blessed with an incredible support system of friends and family, something that many others with eating disorders aren’t fortunate to have.
“Since the age of 12, I have struggled with anorexia nervosa and have been fighting for recovery since committing to treatment at 17 – something I was only able to do because of all the love and support surrounding me.”
She praised the National Eating Disorders Association, urging people to contribute to the organization at nationaleatingdisorders.org.
Gourarie had spent two months at Center for Change, “a wonderful residential facility in Utah for women struggling with ED,” or eating disorders, her father posted on Instagram on Friday.
“In her short time there she made some good friends and connections,” he wrote.
“I am humbled by all the messages I’ve received from these special ladies, precious souls,” he wrote.
“We are only finding out now how she gave of herself to others and how many lives she touched. I guess I should feel blessed that we [were] given 24 short years to have and to hold her.
“Life will never be the same,” he wrote.
Every day when she was at the center, “I sent her a pic of a cute pup,” the father added in the poignant post.
“Yocheved, you were the cutest, prettiest, kindest ‘pup’ a father could hope for. It will take time to heal. Thanks to all for helping us along in that process.”
When you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice, you may know that your society is doomed