Beautiful Virgin Islands

Monday, Sep 15, 2025

How to tell your kids you can't — or won't — afford everything they want

How to tell your kids you can't — or won't — afford everything they want

Instead of spending a fortune on holiday gifts and experiences, take your children to volunteer. It will help kickstart an important conversation.

Earlier this year, 8-year-old Frances, was trying to persuade her mom to let her go to a summer camp popular amongst her classmates. When her mom, Jennifer Gee, said no, Frances burst out: "Why are we so poor?!"

The Toronto mom of two was shocked. Gee had grown up with a single mom and without a lot of money. How could Frances think they were poor? Gee and her partner own a home, they have food on the table, and they had even planned to take Frances and her brother to a drive-through Christmas lights experience for the holidays! 

The camp that caused this outburst costs $4,000 a week. Though Frances, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, attends a French public school in Toronto, it's in an affluent neighborhood, where Gee says half the kids have nannies. 

Gee and her family don't live in this affluent neighborhood, but are zoned for that French public school. Gee is a school chaplain. Her partner lost his job during the pandemic, and hasn't found the same kind of secure job to replace it. 

"We don't have a nanny, but that doesn't mean that we're poor. There's something in the middle," Gee says. "[Frances] sees the disparity in some cases between what we're able to afford and what her friends' parents are able to afford."

Gee knew she needed to start talking to Frances about money and class, even if Frances is only 8.


Talk about money at the grocery store


Though 83% of American parents believe it's their responsibility to talk to their kids about money, 31% of them never do it. 

Parents often feel that money conversations are awkward, scary, and can seem "too adult" for kids — especially ones in elementary school, according to Ed Grocholski, chief marketing officer at Junior Achievement USA, an organization that teaches financial literacy, entrepreneurship, and work readiness. But kids don't necessarily feel the same.

"With inflation, some of the research we've done is that rising prices are top-of-mind for kids," Grocholski says.

He recommends that parents start talking about money when kids bring it up. Though asking to go to $4,000 camps isn't the norm, money does come up when grocery shopping or buying gifts for the holidays.

Gee is doing just this. She started showing Frances the family's grocery bill every week to show her how much things cost. When Frances saw the $135 grocery bill, she couldn't believe how high the amount was! 

I, on the other hand, couldn't believe how low the amount was! A Canadian family of four typically spends $287 a week on groceries.

Gee says she has always been an avid couponer and price matcher, which is how she keeps her bill so low. She even showed Frances where she used coupons to save money (which also helps Frances with her math skills). 

"I grew up with that scarcity mentality I don't want my kids to have," Gee says. "But we are also hoping that this teaches her that money is finite."


Parents face pressure to give their kids holiday 'experiences'


During the height of the pandemic, 23% of parents with kids under 18 felt the need to overspend to give their children the best holidays.

According to Gee, this feeling hasn't gone away.

She says that the holidays now aren't just presents and sitting on Santa's lap for a quick photo — they're filled with "experiences." Drive-through holiday light displays are popular these days, which cost around $30 per car. Toronto malls offer "Santa experiences," where kids take their classic Santa photo, but also get to make a gingerbread house and write a letter to the North Pole. These cost between $20 to $45.

"You're mindful that saving money for you is also potentially taking away an experience for your kids," Gee says.


Volunteering can be the antidote to holiday spending pressure


Between the holiday experiences and the presents, it all adds up. Many parents know they can't afford it anymore.

Gee says she's noticed an openness around money between parents in the past six months. Parents she barely knows are talking to her in the school parking lot and at activities about how the price of keeping their kids busy is getting to be too much.

Geleen Donovan, Family Promise of Union County's executive director, recommends that parents replace these activities with volunteering. Family Promise's mission is to end and prevent homelessness. Donovan works with many volunteers to help these families who are in poverty. She sees a major perspective shift in kids when they start to volunteer.

"The volunteer activity will cost nothing and will bring so much reward," Donovan says. "I really think it's a good antidote."

Donovan believes in practicing "radical compassion." She thinks that volunteering will help parents and kids see how well off they truly are — even if they can't afford every holiday activity. 

Gee has been setting this type of example for Frances. As a school chaplain, she's in charge of raising the funds to buy gift cards for 40 low-income families for Christmas. Now that Frances knows what their family spends on groceries every week, Gee asks her to help figure out how much they need to feed 40 families. 

Once again, Frances is aghast at the thousands of dollars it costs to feed people. Gee says she's starting to see the concept of money and privilege click for Frances. It's been helpful for her as a parent, too.

"You remind yourself that it doesn't actually matter," Gee says. "They'll be fine without the gingerbread house with Santa."

Newsletter

Related Articles

Beautiful Virgin Islands
0:00
0:00
Close
London Daily Podcast: London Massive Pro Democracy Rally, Musk Support, UK Economic Data and Premier League Results Mark Eventful Weekend
This Week in AI: Meta’s Superintelligence Push, xAI’s Ten Billion-Dollar Raise, Genesis AI’s Robotics Ambitions, Microsoft Restructuring, Amazon’s Million-Robot Milestone, and Google’s AlphaGenome Update
Le Pen Tightens the Pressure on Macron as France Edges Toward Political Breakdown
Musk calls for new UK government at huge pro-democracy rally in London, but Britons have been brainwashed to obey instead of fighting for their human rights
Elon Musk responds to post calling for the murder of Erika Kirk, widow of Charlie Kirk: 'Either we fight back or they will kill us'
Czech Republic signs €1.34 billion contract for Leopard 2A8 main battle tanks with delivery from 2028
USA: Office Depot Employees Refused to Print Poster in Memory of Charlie Kirk – and Were Fired
Proposed U.S. Bill Would Allow Civil Suits Against Judges Who Release Repeat Violent Offenders
Penske Media Sues Google Over “AI Overviews,” Claiming It Uses Journalism Without Consent and Destroys Traffic
Indian Student Engineers Propose “Project REBIRTH” to Protect Aircraft from Crashes Using AI, Airbags and Smart Materials
French Debt Downgrade Piles Pressure on Macron’s New Prime Minister
US and UK Near Tech, Nuclear and Whisky Deals Ahead of Trump Trip
One in Three Europeans Now Uses TikTok, According to the Chinese Tech Giant
Could AI Nursing Robots Help Healthcare Staffing Shortages?
NATO Deploys ‘Eastern Sentry’ After Russian Drones Violate Polish Airspace
Anesthesiologist Left Operation Mid-Surgery to Have Sex with Nurse
Tens of Thousands of Young Chinese Get Up Every Morning and Go to Work Where They Do Nothing
The New Life of Novak Djokovic
The German Owner of Politico Mathias Döpfner Eyes Further U.S. Media Expansion After Axel Springer Restructuring
Suspect Arrested: Utah Man in Custody for Charlie Kirk’s Fatal Shooting
In a politically motivated trial: Bolsonaro Sentenced to 27 Years for Plotting Coup After 2022 Defeat
German police raid AfD lawmaker’s offices in inquiry over Chinese payments
Turkish authorities seize leading broadcaster amid fraud and tax investigation
Volkswagen launches aggressive strategy to fend off Chinese challenge in Europe’s EV market
ChatGPT CEO signals policy to alert authorities over suicidal youth after teen’s death
The British legal mafia hit back: Banksy mural of judge beating protester is scrubbed from London court
Surpassing Musk: Larry Ellison becomes the richest man in the world
Embarrassment for Starmer: He fired the ambassador photographed on Epstein’s 'pedophile island'
Manhunt after 'skilled sniper' shot Charlie Kirk. Footage: Suspect running on rooftop during panic
Effective Protest Results: Nepal’s Prime Minister Resigns as Youth-Led Unrest Shakes the Nation
Qatari prime minister says Netanyahu ‘killed any hope’ for Israeli hostages
King Charles and Prince Harry Share First In-Person Moment in 19 Months
Starmer Establishes Economic ‘Budget Board’ to Centralise Policy and Rebuild Business Trust
France Erupts in Mass ‘Block Everything’ Protests on New PM’s First Day
Poland Shoots Down Russian Drones in Airspace Violation During Ukraine Attack
Brazilian police say ex-President Bolsonaro had planned to flee to Argentina seeking asylum
Trinidad Leader Applauds U.S. Naval Strike and Advocates Forceful Action Against Traffickers
Kim Jong Un Oversees Final Test of New High-Thrust Solid-Fuel Rocket Engine
Apple Introduces Ultra-Thin iPhone Air, Enhanced 17 Series and New Health-Focused Wearables
Macron Appoints Sébastien Lecornu as Prime Minister Amid Budget Crisis and Political Turmoil
Supreme Court temporarily allows Trump to pause billions in foreign aid
Charlie Sheen says his father, Martin Sheen, turned him in to the police: 'The greatest betrayal possible'
Vatican hosts first Catholic LGBTQ pilgrimage
Apple Unveils iPhone 17 Series, iPhone Air, Apple Watch 11 and More at 'Awe Dropping' Event
Pig Heads Left Outside Multiple Paris Mosques in Outrage-Inducing Acts
Nvidia’s ‘Wow’ Factor Is Fading. The AI chip giant used to beat Wall Street expectations for earnings by a substantial margin. That trajectory is coming down to earth.
France joins Eurozone’s ‘periphery’ as turmoil deepens, say investors
On the Anniversary of Queen Elizabeth’s Death: Prince Harry Returns to Britain
France Faces New Political Crisis, again, as Prime Minister Bayrou Pushed Out
Murdoch Family Finalises $3.3 Billion Succession Pact, Ensuring Eldest Son’s Leadership
×