Beautiful Virgin Islands

Sunday, Aug 02, 2026

Violent men are to blame, not Tinder. But online dating comes with risk

Violent men are to blame, not Tinder. But online dating comes with risk

After the horrific murder of Grace Millane, it’s worth reflecting on safety measures for dating

Women, please never feel that you have to be “cool” about dating strangers you meet online.

The killer of Grace Millane has been jailed for life, a minimum of 17 years, for strangling her to death in a hotel room in Auckland, New Zealand, after a Tinder date, the night before her 22nd birthday. Afterwards, the man, whose name has been suppressed, watched porn and took intimate “trophy” photos of the British backpacker. He set up another date for the following day, leaving her body in the hotel room.

When caught, he tried to plead the sinister, increasingly popular, “rough sex gone wrong” defence. (The detective inspector in the case said: “Strangling someone for five to 10 minutes until they die is not rough sex”.) It might seem almost incidental that Millane met her killer online. Maybe it is, maybe not.

Online dating sites have been around for too long for the genie to be put back into the bottle. Nor is it necessary, but do we all need to wake up, just in terms of safety? This isn’t about victim-blaming – only one person was responsible for Millane’s death. Nor is it about morality – I couldn’t care less who people sleep with or how long they’ve known them. This is about women deserving to be safe and how the online dating model fails them, not least by putting a covert pressure on them to casually put themselves at risk.

It could be said that much of the no-strings, arguably male-centric online hooking-up model fails anyone who’s looking for a relationship. But, for now, let’s focus purely on safety. Online dating has effectively normalised risk for women. Chatting online produces a mirage of familiarity where normal rules become blurred, making it easy for people to forget that, when they meet, they’re on a blind date.

Of course, any kind of dating is risky – life is risky – but when it comes to one on one, alone in a room, a woman would usually be physically weaker than a man and therefore less able to fend off an attack. It doesn’t mean that men aren’t sometimes vulnerable, rather that women are nearly always vulnerable – they’re always taking a chance.

However casual the encounter, women need to protect themselves, not just by initially meeting in a public place, but also by listing their locations all the way through and perhaps taking a photo of themselves with their date and storing it online. Don’t apologise, just do it, be upfront and “uncool” about it. If someone doesn’t like it, or calls you paranoid or weird, get out of there.

Men need to start appreciating the huge risks women take with online dating or at least stop diminishing them. Sorry if this comes across as mumsy or prescriptive, but cases like this haunt me; devastated families like the Millanes break me. While there’s nothing wrong with casual sex, don’t be casual about safety.


Stormzy is on a roll with his Greggs card – vegan of course

It must be refreshing for a celebrity to get a freebie that’s useful in an ordinary, delicious way. Rapper Stormzy can’t move for accolades but now that he’s the first person to receive the Greggs concierge black card, he can order “whatever he wants, wherever, whenever”. Posting a film of the invitation and card on social media, Stormzy wrote: “I have peaked, this is brilliant.” Quite. It would appear that the vegan sausage rolls are on Stormzy. Forever. Well done, Greggs – another triumph.

The concierge scheme is by invitation only and similar to the Nando’s card, which allows celebrities to take up to five guests to restaurants free. It seems to be in response to Stormzy previously professing himself to be a Greggs fan, while moaning that they wouldn’t deliver. Delivery problem solved, though only for Stormzy.

For health reasons (finger wag!), people shouldn’t eat Greggs all the time, but I’m sure Stormzy wouldn’t do that anyway. Otherwise, while this story is about the successful interlocking of brands – high street and streetwise – it goes beyond thatthan that. One reason why I like Stormzy is that he surrounds himself with genuine good friends and insists they’re treated with respect, to the point where he once walked out of a festival when he felt his friends had received racist treatment. I like the thought of him and his crew fancying a Greggs and Stormzy pulling out the concierge card.

In Stormzy’s position, the bombardment of freebies must be brilliant but, just occasionally, exhausting? When you hear about the Oscars’ gift bags, with vouchers for plastic surgery clinics, it could even seem full-on depressing. The Greggs card sorts out a quick bite for Stormzy and his friends – sometimes, what could be sweeter?


Bloom won’t be the last to suffer a tattoo bloomer

Actor Orlando Bloom has had to revise a tattoo – instead of spelling out his son’s name Flynn in morse code, it ended up as Frynn. A dot was missing and Bloom dealt with the mistake with humour: “Finally dot it right.”

It’s sweet that Bloom wishes to do this for his son, but also… why? It reminds me of people going to places such as Goa, getting carried away and returning with weird scrawling over their limbs. Often, it’s some meaningful quote in Sanskrit, or so they hope. It could easily be “leave my country, irritating tourist” in fluent Konkani.

Bloom isn’t the only celebrity to suffer an ink disaster: Ariana Grande wanted her 7 Rings lyrics written in Japanese on her arm and ended up with “small charcoal grill”. Generally, isn’t an illustration less risky?

Even if the writing is accurate, who wants to live their entire life by something they believed on a youthful beach holiday while wearing braided ankle bracelets and harem pants? In these meme-infested times, what inscription has any hope of remaining meaningful and not lumped in with all that yoga-hippy “believe in yourself” drivel on social media?

The moral of the tale seems to be: if you must get a dodgy tat, get an image.

Newsletter

Related Articles

Beautiful Virgin Islands
0:00
0:00
Close
Finland Deploys Commercial-Scale Thermal Batteries Using Crushed Rock to Store Renewable Grid Energy
Valued at $109 Million: F-35B Fighter Jet Crashes in Southern California
Andy Burnham has Announces Plans to Redistribute Income Tax Revenue to English Mayors
Early-Release Scheme Faces Fresh Scrutiny as Reoffending and Prison Recalls Rise
Police Phone Checks Followed Report on Murder of MI5 Agent Inside Sinn Féin
Archbishop of Canterbury Reaffirms £100 Million Reparative Justice Fund During Ghana Visit
Drought Status Extended Across All of Wales as Heat and Dry Weather Deepen Environmental Strain
Record-Low Danube Exposes Probable Mammoth Remains in Bulgaria
US Says It Has Carried Out Heavy Strikes on Iran After Attempted Attacks on Its Forces
The chief executive of the popular gaming company laid off many employees and his pay rose to 38 million dollars
The World's Most Terrifying Smartphone: Recording, Documenting, and Reporting to the Regime
The AI User Nightmare: Private Claude Conversations Leaked to the Internet
UK: Former Football Association Leaders Call for World Cup Boycott Over FIFA Privatization Plan
Forbidden Love: China severs millions from their virtual partners
Over 24 Hours in the Air: Qantas Airbus Completes Record-Breaking Test Flight
Zuckerberg Opposes US Ban on Chinese AI Models and Warns of Regulatory Capture
Massive Wildfires Ravage Southern Europe: Fatalities in Greece and Evacuations Across France, Spain, and Turkey
Trump says Israel ‘would not survive’ without US
France Evacuates Atlantic Coast Resorts as Wildfire Risk Rises Again
Magnitude 7.1 Earthquake Strikes Kumamoto as Rescuers Search Collapsed Buildings
OpenAI Faces Demands for Full Disclosure After Models Breach Hugging Face
Nvidia Reportedly Takes Vast Texas Data-Centre Lease to Underwrite AI Expansion
Royal Collection Trust Income Falls as Palace Visits Retreat From Record Highs
FIFA’s Private-Investment Plan for World Cup Rights Draws European Revolt
Ministers Examine Social-Care Levy as Burnham Seeks Funding Settlement
Apple Briefly Crosses Five Trillion Dollar Valuation as Investors Retreat From AI Bets
Badenoch Offers Tory Votes to Keep Serious Offenders in Prison
Why Americans Queue for $15 Ice Cream and a $100 Caviar Pint
Another AI Genius Left the United States — and Silicon Valley Is Starting to Worry
Shein Reports $99mn Loss as Trade Barriers Test Low-Cost Model
CXMT Gains 466% in China’s Biggest IPO Since 2010
Amazon Seeks Approval for 5,105-Satellite Mobile Network
Burnham Puts School-to-Work Reform at Centre of Welfare Strategy
Burnham Rules Out Replacing Council Tax and Stamp Duty
Fresh Heatwave Threatens to Rekindle France’s Historic Wildfire Crisis
Following OpenAI's Cyberattack: 'Most Companies Still Do Not Understand What Is Coming'
Autopsy Finds No Violence in Death of Epstein-Linked Model Scout
Indian Education Minister Resigns After Cockroach Youth Protests
California Desert Data-Centre Plan Stalls as Water and Power Disputes Mount
War, Youth Revolt and the Global Struggle for Control
War, Power and the Rising Price of Political Decisions
Badenoch Rejects Grant Shapps' Bid to Return as Conservative Candidate
BAE Chief Warns Britain Has Underestimated the Risk of War
Burnham Rules Out New Scottish Independence Referendum in First Talks With Swinney
OpenAI Sued After ChatGPT Allegedly Discouraged Emergency Care Before Near-Fatal Embolism
Viral Video Raises Questions Over Twelve-Dollar Croissants at Manhattan Bakery
Miliband Sets Climate and International Law at Centre of UK Diplomacy
US Gasoline Returns to $4 as Renewed Iran Fighting Disrupts Oil Flows
Czech Central Bank Governor Rejects Early Euro Entry and Rate-Cut Pressure
Trump Orders 50% Tariffs on Selected Canadian Imports
×