Beautiful Virgin Islands

Wednesday, Oct 08, 2025

Meghan Markle’s experiences illustrate the reality of so many black and brown people in white homes

Meghan Markle’s experiences illustrate the reality of so many black and brown people in white homes

I started my week by watching the Meghan and Harry Oprah interview. Meghan perfectly encapsulated the lived reality of so many black and brown people in white homes and relationships.
I know how isolating it is having experiences around race ignored by those closest to you, while living with the baggage and beauty of a racialised identity every day. I know about the existential experience of being told you are not “really” black enough due to your phenotype in some spaces, while having this same phenotype grant you privileges in others.

The feeling of internal dislocation that comes from having part of your racial heritage ignored is where the title of my book, Raceless, comes from: you feel raceless.

If you’d have told me in my early twenties that I’d be launching my first book in the middle of a global pandemic to critical acclaim, I’d have laughed you out of the room. Those years were characterised by chaos and turmoil. I lost my father to cancer shortly after graduating from university, which fractured my family. Then my sense of self was obliterated when, a year later, I discovered through DNA tests, that there was no biological link between me and my amazing father.

I had grown up in a white household with no explanation as to why I looked different and I’d been working on my identity alone for years.

Dad’s death was the catalyst for uncovering the truth about who I was, but it also set me on a journey of examining why there is so much shame associated with black identities in all-white spaces.

I was disappointed with the Palace’s response on Wednesday — “recollections may vary” seems like racial gaslighting to me. But I bet that Meghan kept her receipts. The truth always comes out in the end. I hope that those in mixed families can talk more honestly about the nuances and complexities of navigating race, racism and privilege in their relationships. It seems we’re at the very start of these discussions.

Piers Morgan’s comments around Meghan’s suicide on Good Morning Britain were reprehensible: so many men have a problem with believing women when we simply recount what’s happened to us, and fame and fortune is no protector against suffering from poor mental health.

Piers quitting the show was also a huge display of hypocrisy: he’s slammed Meghan for leaving the Royal Family after years of relenting media abuse, but he couldn’t handle two minutes of gentle critique from co-presenter Alex Beresford who reminded him that his obsession with Meghan began when she cut off contact -years ago. His obsession has now cost him his job.

For my book I interviewed adoptees in white families, parents unsure of how to discuss race with their children, others whose identities have been destroyed with DNA surprise results and people who have uncovered long-held family secrets around their parentage. These things are far more common than you’d think, and the effect of uncovering life-altering information as an adult is similarly debilitating — PTSD, depression, body image issues, grief and anger are all common.

Including these experiences was key to tackling shame and stigma around identities that are formed in hard to describe spaces while educating others on the dangers of family secrets.

We need to answer those questions that are becoming increasingly urgent: what constitutes a personal identity? And how can white people take a colour conscious approach to their intimate relationships, instead of a colour-blind one?
Newsletter

Related Articles

Beautiful Virgin Islands
0:00
0:00
Close
France: Less Than a Month After His Appointment, the New French Prime Minister Resigns
Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán stated that Hungary will not adopt the euro because the European Union is falling apart.
Sarah Mullally Becomes First Woman Appointed Archbishop of Canterbury
Mayor in western Germany in intensive care after stabbing
Australian government pays Deloitte nearly half a million dollars for a report built on fabricated quotes, fake citations, and AI-generated nonsense.
US Prosecutors Gained Legal Approval to Hack Telegram Servers
Macron Faces Intensifying Pressure to Resign or Trigger New Elections Amid France’s Political Turmoil
Standard Chartered Names Roberto Hoornweg as Sole Head of Corporate & Investment Banking
UK Asylum Housing Firm Faces Backlash Over £187 Million Profits and Poor Living Conditions
UK Police Crack Major Gang in Smuggling of up to 40,000 Stolen Phones to China
BYD’s UK Sales Soar Nearly Nine-Fold, Making Britain Its Biggest Market Outside China
Trump Proposes Farm Bailout from Tariff Revenues Amid Backlash from Other Industries
FIFA Accuses Malaysia of Forging Citizenship Documents, Suspends Seven Footballers
Latvia to Bar Tourist and Occasional Buses to Russia and Belarus Until 2026
A Dollar Coin Featuring Trump’s Portrait Expected to Be Issued Next Year
Australia Orders X to Block Murder Videos, Citing Online Safety and Public Exposure
Three Scientists Awarded Nobel Prize in Medicine for Discovery of Immune Self-Tolerance Mechanism
OpenAI and AMD Forge Landmark AI-Chip Alliance with Equity Option
Munich Airport Reopens After Second Drone Shutdown
France Names New Government Amid Political Crisis
Trump Stands Firm in Shutdown Showdown and Declares War on Drug Cartels — Turning Crisis into Opportunity
Surge of U.S. Billionaires Transforms London’s Peninsula Apartments into Ultra-Luxury Stronghold
Pro Europe and Anti-War Babiš Poised to Return to Power After Czech Parliamentary Vote
Jeff Bezos Calls AI Surge a ‘Good’ Bubble, Urges Focus on Lasting Innovation
Japan’s Ruling Party Chooses Sanae Takaichi, Clearing Path to First Female Prime Minister
Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Sentenced to Fifty Months in Prison Following Prostitution Conviction
Taylor Swift’s ‘Showgirl’ Launch Extends Billion-Dollar Empire
Trump Administration Launches “TrumpRx” Plan to Enable Direct Drug Sales at Deep Discounts
Trump Announces Intention to Impose 100 Percent Tariff on Foreign-Made Films
Altman Says GPT-5 Already Outpaces Him, Warns AI Could Automate 40% of Work
Singapore and Hong Kong Vie to Dominate Asia’s Rising Gold Trade
Trump Organization Teams with Saudi Developer on $1 Billion Trump Plaza in Jeddah
Manhattan Sees Surge in Office-to-Housing Conversions, Highest Since 2008
Switzerland and U.S. Issue Joint Assurance Against Currency Manipulation
Electronic Arts to Be Taken Private in Historic $55 Billion Buyout
Thomas Jacob Sanford Named as Suspect in Deadly Michigan Church Shooting and Arson
Russian Research Vessel 'Yantar' Tracked Mapping Europe’s Subsea Cables, Raising Security Alarms
New York Man Arrested After On-Air Confession to 2017 Parents’ Murders
U.S. Defense Chief Orders Sudden Summit of Hundreds of Generals and Admirals
Global Cruise Industry Posts Dramatic Comeback with 34.6 Million Passengers in 2024
Trump Claims FBI Planted 274 Agents at Capitol Riot, Citing Unverified Reports
India: Internet Suspended in Bareilly Amid Communal Clashes Between Muslims and Hindus
Supreme Court Extends Freeze on Nearly $5 Billion in U.S. Foreign Aid at Trump’s Request
Archaeologists Recover Statues and Temples from 2,000-Year-Old Sunken City off Alexandria
China Deploys 2,000 Workers to Spain to Build Major EV Battery Factory, Raising European Dependence
Speed Takes Over: How Drive-Through Coffee Chains Are Rewriting U.S. Coffee Culture
U.S. Demands Brussels Scrutinize Digital Rules to Prevent Bias Against American Tech
Ringo Starr Champions Enduring Beatles Legacy While Debuting Las Vegas Art Show
Private Equity’s Fundraising Surge Triggers Concern of European Market Shake-Out
Colombian President Petro Vows to Mobilize Volunteers for Gaza and Joins List of Fighters
×